It’s Friday night, you’re sitting at a restaurant, and as your supper arrives, the server says, “Now, don’t touch that plate. It’s hot.” What’s the first thing you do?
That being said, 99% of the time you’re going to touch that plate, correct?
I call it the 99% principle. It’s closer to 100%, yet I give for myself a bit “out” for the people who wish to discover a proviso in it.
After years of contemplating human conduct, I’ve concocted a couple of these 99% decides that I wish to impart to you today. Searching for these proportional elements in commonplace discussion will help you read between the lines all the more rapidly.
When somebody begins a sentence with its not, they’re typically attempting to let you know what something truly is without offending you.
When somebody begins a sentence with I don’t, they’re attempting to run you without offending you.
Here are a few illustrations of the first govern in activity.
When they say, “I am the only party to blame here,” they’re attempting to let you know that it is you. (Since I date a considerable amount, I hear this one often!)
When they say, “It’s not that you’re excessively short,” they’re attempting to let you know that they think you are excessively short.
When they say, “It’s not that I have a drinking issue,” what presumably leaves their mouth next is an anecdote about how they drank excessively.
Get the picture? In any case please don’t take my assertion for this. Listen for yourself. It will astonish you.
Here’s the way I use the 99% standard within commonplace action to help me get down to business and discover what’s truly on somebody’s psyche. How about we say a clerk comes into my office and starts his sentence with, “It’s not that we’re attempting to raise cash, we’re essentially attempting to help you pick up another product offering for your company.”
Presently, whatever leaves his mouth next doesn’t generally have any kind of effect, in light of the fact that I know by utilizing the 99% decide that he truly needs to raise cash. So I would interfere with him mid-sentence and say, “Tune in, you need cash, and I could use the item. Disregard the five dollars that you need for every unit. I’ll spare us both time and give for you what you could truly use: two dollars each. Do you need it?”
You see, once you ace listening to what people are really attempting to let you know, it places you in control and it can spare a great deal of despair over the long haul.
The other sample I said was the expression I don’t. When somebody begins a sentence with I don’t, the 99% standard lets you know that they’re really attempting to coördinate you without offending you. Here are a few samples.
“I would prefer not to let you know how to raise your kids, but…”
“I would prefer not to let you know how to drive, but…”
“I don’t need you to take my side, but…”
Presently go out and use this data for yourself. Attempt it out with your companions, business partners, and dates. They’ll be stunned at how well you can read them, and you’ll resemble a star by basically utilizing and applying the 99% principle.